Divine Knittervention

THE INFAMOUS 7 MILE LONG SCARF PATTERN

So... I post out of order. :-P This scarf was my first completed project. The pattern was very simple.

1 skein Lion Homespun
Size 15 needles
2 Bridget Jones DVD's.

Insert 1st Brigdet Jones Movie into DVD Player
During previews CO 20 st.
Knit every row for duration of movie.
Pause randomly to curse about the plethora of men like Daniel Cleaver.
Pause correspondingly to sigh wistfully over the lack of existing Mark Darcy's.
Halt knitting altogether when Bridget runs out in the snow in her panties.
Contemplate where YOUR Mark Darcy may be--and what could be taking him so long.
Refresh beverage, and make trip to the restroom.
Insert 2nd Bridget Jones Movie into the DVD Player.
Check progress of knitting during previews.
As movie begins decide scarf must be "just a bit" longer.
During movie knit every row.
Pause to express disgust that Thai prison women are so excited to have a bra.
Make resolution to send them yours, after all, who are you to stand in the way of such exhuberance.
Resume knitting each row.
Pause to gasp and declare YOU KNEW IT! when Shazzer breaks the news that the incredible, sexy, droolably handsome Mark Darcy was the driving force behind Bridgets release.
Sigh wistfully, several times and resume knitting.
Survey scarf length as the end of movie credits roll.
Cut remainder of skein into pieces for fringe.
Knot fringe at each end.
Realize you can wrap scarf around your neck and it will still touch the floor on either side.
Proudly wear scarf in the 90 degree heat to the Video Store to return Bridget Jones movies.